Because my mother told me that all I needed to do was get drunk and lie back and let my husband have his fun. Because if I was drunk, I’d be more relaxed and it’d be over sooner
Because my sister told me that I was trapping my husband in an abusive marriage, and that one day he was going to leave me
Because both of them looked at me in disgust
Because my asexuality is considered to be as great a crime against my husband as a woman who has affairs and cheats on her husband
Because my cousin didn’t even try to understand, and just kept asking ‘but what about in five years? how will you feel then?’
Because I was so afraid of my body and so afraid of sex that I didn’t seek medical help for a legitimate question for over a year for fear of being labelled a deviant or something broken
Because I still ask myself at least once every day if my husband wouldn’t be better off without me
Because I still ask myself at least once every day if I’m broken
Because I still tell myself at least once every day that I’m pathetic and useless and an abnormality
Because I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but everywhere I turn I’m told I really don’t, because love = sex
I need A to stand for Asexual because nobody ever talked to me about asexuality even when I was an outpatient at the women’s hospital for 18 months, and everyone told me desire would come in time
I need A to stand for Asexual because we are literally invisible, and so unimportant that people assume we don’t even need representation, because everyone assumes our lives must be bland and unimportant and lacking in challenges or bigotry
For every asexual that wants a relationship, for every asexual that does not want a relationship, for every asexual who has not yet come to terms with their identity, for every asexual who was told we were abnormalities, for every asexual who was told we just weren’t doing sex right, that we needed a good fucking, that we needed to be drunk, that we needed to relax, that we needed to be raped
We need representation, and we need visibility
That is why the A needs to stand for Asexual, and never for Ally
Fucking Important Post.
Just so we’re fucking clear, this blog is inclusionist. If that’s a prob, gtfo.
People don’t understand the enormous and insidious pressure aces are under to just give in and pretend you like it already. This at an individual and institutional level- look at the way psychologists treat people who don’t want sex, whether they are ace or not. Conversion therapy for aces is so normalized that people don’t even notice it exists.
Added to the “why asexuals are relieved to find out they’re asexual” discourse. And why inclusion is so important for het-aces. We queer aces will have more confusion, yes, but we end up out there looking for answers on our queer identities and we find this too on our way. But they don’t. They know their het part and won’t know more. No one will tell them. They will get through this kind of mistreatment and emotional abuse and never know why. All that targeted at them FOR THEIR SEXUAL IDENTITIES SO DON’T TELL ME THEY DON’T BELONG IN THE COMMUNITY.
SO FUCK YOU. LET HET ACES BE SUPPORTED YOU SELFISH GOO.
i love how people are trying to use these numbers to discredit what has happened to black people. 63.7% of the population is solely white while only 12.6% of the population is black. if you do the math the black deaths are almost 3 times higher than that of white despite having a population 5 time smaller
That’s how they get you. They don’t expect you to know fundamentals of statistics and ratios.
My main concern is that people see this and think “it’s not about race”
When what they should be thinking is “why do the police resort to killing so many people?”
Jumped all the way to Freshman year of High School
Then I cut my hair Junior year, why did I do that
Slowly it started growing back and then….
I finally felt comfortable to express myself (the picture on the left was my debut)
At this point in my transition I am 6 months into HRT
A year on HRT
Over a year and a half on hormones. My transition hasn’t been the clearest path but I am so happy that I am on it.
Update:
2 years since my coming out
2 years on hrt
2.3 years on hrt
2 and a half years on hormones
Its been a while since I’ve done an update so here it goes
At this point I am 3 years into my Hormone Replacement Therapy. I’m thriving.
These pictures were taken days apart and I am 3 and a half years into my medical transition (The picture on the right was also posted by Instagram on all their major social media handles attached with an interview I did with them for International Women’s Month)
During this time I was 4 years into HRT. Clearly living for it.
I am currently 4 and a half years into HRT, 5 years into socially transitioning, 6 years into when i first came out to my community around me and I’m loving life more than I ever thought I would.
I need to save that post to remind myself that “Heaven needs time to render”. SUCH AN INSPIRATION!!!
